i want get married by the age of 26.
so i can give birth at the age of 28.
all these, provided there'a man out there for me.you know, i really think your guys are weird.
and i think, i'm really greedy.
to find the one you like, when you're free only,
is that what is right?
to demand more, when you get something already,
is that wrong?
to try and prevent myself from getting hurt,
to keep my pride and to stay cool,
is that sinful?
to you, it may be something only a couple should do,
yet to me, it's a kind of confirmation.
it gives me sense of security and i can pace forward.
but now,seriously, i'm shakened.
i feel like walking away, walking backwards, anything you call it.
i feel like giving all up.
everything.i was truly surprised, i want to tell
him everything.
because if i do, i want to end things.
sub consciously, i've already given up,
then why should i continue to hold on?
hold on to something i don't believe,
something i'll always be skeptical over?
i have no confidence, and i don't want to take the risk.
things may be sweet, but moments don't last.
i want something that last, even if there may be pain,
i want it to be endless and i'm confident that i can get it.
someone tells me i'll regret it.
and i just realised, i'm so used to be regrettful.
i want to end it with him.
even if i still like
him, i don't see a path in front us.
ever thought of being with
him even if
he's not around
but, the thought is eroded.
feelings there, demands increase and yet, the
hope is gone.
i just, no longer want to feel like a toy, an entertainer, a sparetyre.