have been having sstomach cramps these few days. since dont know when, everytime .. will have. nonetheless, i'm on medication, also for my asthma. yea yea i know. i dont know why suddenly im breathless again, esp at night. dont worry, its not depression. have been living way better than then.

sigh whats with birthday now. so many birthday so many presents. never mind. i shall, eat less and save. need to be on diet anyway right? the most important thing for diet is to not not eat. it makes you fatter. serious! the best way is, shit. hahahahah! just joking. dont ask me the best way. for me, is shit. hahaaha. anyway darling yaos birthday i will be away. yeah, im going to msia. im having second thoughts about my initial plan though. instead of soft rebonning, i might as well leave it. but, i want to try. hmm. lets decide when i see the price haha.

ah im having muscle aches! my sister asked me to buy the safety box yesterday. though chenlu and shuyuan was the one to help me buy, but i had to carry it and gosh, just for a while and now my arms are aching like mad. it must be due to my lack of exercise. i better get some soon. hehe. swimming again?? cycling. hmm. they didnt ask me so, dont care.

i recently saw his message. i thought it was recent one, well quite recent but not recent enough. i so feel like telling hiim the truth but, if i tell him the truth, its like kinda slutting. not as though i will do what he wish, just leaving him hanging. its terrible. decided, to just shut up. not letting him know is the best way to get out my life. also, for me to get out of his life. afterall, we can never be together.